


Blast from the Past

by Bulltrue



Category: Orange is the New Black, carol denning - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-27 07:06:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15680451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bulltrue/pseuds/Bulltrue
Summary: What if Carol wasn't only tired of moving? What if there was someone that made her want to stay?





	1. Strawberries

**Author's Note:**

> K so full disclosure: I am NOT a writer. I just couldn't get the image of these two girls out of my head, and wondering what exactly Carol's "shit" was. I haven't written or even read fanfiction since '09 but this is the power of Denning, I guess hahah I have a general plan, but please let me know what you think! I'll keep uploading here instead of writing just for myself if it goes well. x

1982: 

“Damn it, Carol. You know I’m going to have to clean the car now before I go home” complained the blonde, playfully shaking her head as she picked up pencil shavings off the floor of the blue Ford the two girls were sitting inside.

Carol, her left leg propped against the dashboard and her right foot tapping steadily against the floor to the beat of the newest AC/DC song emanating from the car stereo, looked up from her notebook. “Fine, I guess I’ll leave then”.

“No! C’mon, you know Daddy will calm down once I’ve really broken it in. It _is_ my first car”.

“Dani, you could bring this back completely trashed and your parents would draw together a healing circle, say it is in the past and call it a fucking day.” retorted Carol as she rolled her eyes and resumed her drawing, filling in her picture with thicker, heavier strokes. It wasn’t Danielle’s fault that she had loving, accepting parents but it didn’t stop Carol for secretly, and sometimes not so secretly, resenting it all the same.

“They’re not that bad” protested Dani, giving Carol’s leg on the dashboard a slight shove.

“One of your sisters is literally the product of your parents fucking at Woodstock”.

The blonde let out a burst of laughter. Carol couldn’t help but melt a little bit at the sound of it, resentment vanishing quickly despite herself.  “Okay, you’ve got me there” said Dani, the sun creating a glow around her as it caught her feathered hair -  hair that Carol herself had cut one drunken night to look like Stevie Nicks in the video for Edge of Seventeen.

“Why do I hang out with you again?” asked Carol.

Dani was used to Carol quick jabs about her and her family. She knew most of it was for fun, just teasing, and anything that wasn’t came from a broken place, one that she hoped to be able to heal someday. She hummed, raising an eyebrow and ducking her head between Carol and her sketchbook so their eyes could meet. “Because you like fucking me?” she proposed. It seemed to please Carol, smile lines appeared at the corner of her mouth as she stuck her pencil behind her ear, waiting to be able to resume her drawing, and pulled a jawbreaker out of the pocket of her flannel, promptly popping it into her mouth.

“True. You and your tits are the best thing to ever come out of Debbie’s gymnastics. The little bitch” she replied. 

“I hope Karen never gets as good as Debbie” admitted Dani. “I think two moves is enough for me”.

“She won’t. Debbie will wipe the floor with her. We’ll be onto move number six in no time” spat Carol, her temperature rising. “She doesn’t think of anyone but herself. How many trophies does the selfish cunt need?”. Dani pulled away, observing Carol from the driver seat as she began to shade with such a heavy hand that her pencil threatened to go through the notebook at any moment. The anger that Carol had inside of her concerned Dani, but she couldn’t help but find her adorable at the same time. She also relished the view of Carol with her jawbreakers, a treat Dani first introduced her to in an attempt to help cut back on her smoking. That was still a work-in-progress, but every time Dani caught a sight of Carol sucking on one, she felt they shared a secret – the knowledge that she had touched and left her mark on Carol, right in front of everyone’s face without them even knowing.

Continuing to angrily shade in her drawing, Carol’s brows furrowed and she moved her candy, seemingly unconsciously, from her right cheek to her left. Dani leaned in and put her hand over Carol’s work, and softly kissed her protruding cheek. Carol’s breathing slowed immediately at her touch. The blonde made her way from her cheek, down her neck to the bare part of Carol’s chest already exposed from her V-neck shirt, filling Carol’s head with the smell of her warm perfume and the slightly sweet smell of her strawberry gloss in the process. Carol, chest heaving considerably, reached for Dani’s face, gripped it with her hand and brought her mouth to hers. It felt as though it had been years since they had last kissed, and both of them savoured the taste of each other and the feeling of their hands roaming their bodies. The euphoric moment was shattered as the radio host announced the Top Forty at Four would begin after the break.

“Fuck me’” muttered Carol, spitting out her jawbreaker suddenly.

“Okay” said Dani, pushing away the urge to pick up the candy before her car was sticky, and attempting to pull Carol in for more.

“I have to go. I’m supposed to be meeting Barb and I’m late” said Carol as she pulled away and adjusted herself.

Dani watched her and sighed. “Aren’t you tired of hiding?” she asked. “It’s not like _she_ is hiding fuck all”.

“I can’t risk Barb running her loud mouth and Dad finding out, you know that”.

A memory swelled in Dani’s mind of Carol one evening. Both of their families were in D.C for a gymnastics meet, and Carol and Dani had snuck off afterwards to go to a concert. They had changed inside the bathroom of a random arcade, where Dani spotted bruises along Carol’s arms and side, which were normally concealed by her layered clothing. Carol brushed it off, refusing to get emotional, but Dani never needed to ask what happened. She knew it was Carol’s father. Before she could say anything Carol was already outside the car, stuffing her things into a bag and hauling out a pack of cigarettes.

“Relax” said Carol, spotting Dani eyeing the packet. “I haven’t had any yet today, and _someone_ made me spit out my last jawbreaker”. She winked at her, putting a cigarette between her lips and lighting it as she waved goodbye and turned back around towards the school.

Dani watched Carol leave the carpark, and as she cut up through the grass to save time. “That wasn’t my fault!” she hollered out the window of the car, half hoping Carol would turn back around and tease her another time. Instead, she could see Carol’s shoulders shaking from laughter as she her raised right hand, middle finger extended, and waved it playfully it in response. 

 

By the time Carol reached the front entrance of the school, she was half surprised to find Barb standing beneath the two towering maple trees they agreed to meet up by. Carol knew she was in the wrong for being late, but it wasn’t unlike Barb to leave without her; usually in order to sneak in a quick fuck with her boyfriend before their father expected them to be home. Their father insisted on family dinners during the week, even though they were almost always unpleasant, and painful to manage due to Debbie’s various gymnastic commitments. The dinners rested on the need for all the Denning women to bend their lives in order to make those commitments happen, and it was no secret that family dinners were getting more and more unpleasant as time went on. 

“Where the fuck were you?” asked Barb once Carol was close enough to hear. She shifted her feet, feeling cold in her thin tights, the first fallen leaves of autumn crunching beneath her boots. In truth, her boyfriend had just left her but she wasn’t going to let Carol get away with making her wait.

“Calm down, Barbie. I’m here now, aren’t I? Besides, I saw Pearl Peterman on the way here which must mean your little boyfriend is nearby”.

"You’re just jealous you don’t have anyone and I’m in love” Barb scoffed, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder indignantly.

“You don’t know shit” replied Carol, pushing past Barb towards the front lot where their car was, licking her lips and tasting the last remnants of strawberry gloss on her tongue.


	2. Recreation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A qualifications tournament brings the two girls together, but a Texas coach increases the likelihood of moving in the Denning sisters' future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to any of you who read the first chapter! Obviously still not a writer, but I'm really enjoying thinking of and planning out Carol and Barb's backstories! xx

1982:         

   Hall & Oates pumped out of the speakers, it was slightly too loud and resulted in a static filled song that shook the scoreboards that hung high on the frontward facing wall. Families with young, eager acrobatic children poured into the recreation centre under the guise of participating in this competition. It technically was a competition, but it was made up only local troupes and kids to see who would be competing in the tri-county regional tournament later on in the season. As a result, the centre wasn’t very packed and those in attendance were limited to immediate family members and enthusiastic state coaches wishing to sniff out fresh new talent.

With their father working late, their mother busy at home and the fact that they only had two cars, Carol and Barb were relegated to driving Debbie to the tournament and subsequently were sitting in the bleachers awaiting their sister’s turn and anticipating the moment they could leave, each second feeling longer than the last. Carol had with her legs spread, boots balancing on the edge of the row in front of her, slightly pressing into the balding man that chose to plant himself directly in her line of fire. Their father hated when she sat like this, calling her unladylike and unpleasant.  _Fuck him,_ she thought. She sucked harder on the jawbreaker wedged in her left cheek as she opened her legs just a bit further, out of spite. The man turned around to glance at her, but didn’t take the bait as she raised her eyebrows at him as if to say ‘ _Go ahead! Say something, fucker_!’.  Carol was tired of people, men in particular, telling her how to behave. She would take up space and they would deal with it.

“What do you think about this one?” asked Barb, shoving the enormous catalogue she had been flipping through since they arrived at Carol. She didn’t particularly care what Carol thought, nor did she think her sister had good taste, but she was starved for opinions and would make do with what she had, as always.

“Barbie, explain again why it is that you’re shopping for a prom dress in autumn?” inquired Carol lazily, faking interest while hardly letting her eyes skim the pages of puffy neon taffeta, lace and bows that threatened to assault her vision.

“You just don’t understand” insisted Barb, talking to Carol as though she were decades older than her and far more intelligent and experience than she could ever hope to be. “This is my  _senior_ prom. I have a boyfriend who is not only popular but  _loves_ me, and I’m going to look the BEST when I win prom queen. These things matter, Care”. She pulled the catalogue back onto her own lap, twisting her heart shaped necklace that her boyfriend bought her. It was typical Barb. She acted as though all these minor things were extraordinarily important, that she was deeply, madly in love and her life was a fairy-tale and not the unstable disaster that Carol knew it to be. When Carol looked at her sister and her relationship that was all she saw – pretend, no genuine emotion.

“You’re an idiot if you think we’re still going to be here in time for you to go prom with lover boy” spat Carol, annoyed by her sister’s act.

“Mom promised this would be the last move. At least until I graduate.” She tilted her head, pulling a pen from her pocket and circling some purple monstrosity. “I think this might be the one. I mean, definitely top four so far.” She bit her lip, the pink lipstick cracking slightly and nodded her head enthusiastically as though Carol was paying attention and cared.

Carol spotted Danielle and her family coming in from the eastern doors. They were nearly late, as always, but you wouldn’t be able to tell from looking at them. From what she could tell, they were all genuine smiles and love. Her parents walked together, holding hands and Karen, her little sister, pranced in front them. She jumped around, her ribbons following behind her with the ease of someone whom the sport came naturally to and who never felt the pressure to perform from her parents or coach. Dani trailed behind, wearing an all-white dress with draping sleeves and tall, thigh-high boots. It had been a few weeks since they properly saw each other, and Carol felt her breath catch her in throat at the sight of her. The family sat on the opposite facing bleachers, and as the end of the competition finally approached, Carol noticed Danielle get up and walk down the hallway towards the back of the centre, where the bathrooms and storage rooms were, and the stairwell that led up to the changing rooms. “I’m going to the bathroom” Carol grunted at Barb, springing up and spitting her jawbreaker into the garbage can as she jumped down from the bleachers.

Instead of entering the bathroom as she said, Carol opened the door to the storage room and flicked the lights on. At first it appeared to be empty and she felt stupid for thinking that perhaps Dani would be in here, having felt so certain that she knew Carol was watching her and wanting her to follow; and thinking there was no way Dani would choose the bathrooms or the changing rooms. Right before she flicked the lights back off however, Danielle peaked her head out from behind a crate of supplies and smiled, her whole face lighting up at Carol.

“Mm, I thought so” said Carol, relief flooding her body. She was quick to anger and hardly anything got her heated as swiftly as embarrassment. “It smells like rubber in here” she added, glancing at the various sporting equipment and balls all stacked up around them.

“Well, maybe you should come a little closer” suggested Dani.

Caro advanced towards her, taking in all her beauty as she did. Her white dress came down in a deep v, and a single crystal hung from her necklace in the middle of her chest, her perfect skin exposed. “This is a bit better” whispered Carol, twisting the necklace around her fingers, close enough to Dani to smell strawberries.

“Only a bit?” teased the blonde, pulling Carol into her and kissing her feverishly with her back against the crate. Minutes seemed to melt away, the location and time didn’t seem to matter as they kissed and desperately ran their hands all over each other. “I missed you” moaned Dani, feeling Carol reaching between her legs, driving her mad. A Queen song could be heard playing outside the room, the heavy beat and resulting vibration seemed to intensify as she wrapped her legs around Carol, the consequences of someone finding them far from her mind as pleasure rippled through her body. 

When the girls eventually reappeared out of the storage room, they were thankful not to be caught but were enjoying the buzz from the possibility of it and the secret knowledge of what they had done. As they emerged from the hallway and entered the bleachers once more, the music stopped and a man with a microphone rattled off the finishing scores while a flurry of women behind him hustled to put together the definitive list of people who would be competing at the tri-county regionals. Carol and Danielle returned to their respective seats, Dani’s family embracing her and Barb hardly seeming to register that Carol had left at all.

When the final list was broadcasted, Debbie ranked among the top participants. Carol glared, but joined Barb in her fake supportive clapping until she spotted a man across the centre who was chatting with Debbie’s personal coach, Emery. His clapping seemed to ring in Carol’s ears, he waved enthusiastically to Debbie and shook her hand when she arrived in front of the two men, Emery handing her flowers he must've bought for her as she smiled up at them. Carol nudged Barb hard. “What the fuck?” Barb exclaimed, rubbing her side. Her frustration with Carol lasted only a second however, as she took in the image her attention was drawn to. The clapping man was no longer facing the sisters, but the words printed on the back of his jacket seemed as though they would be visible from space.  _Trudy’s Gymnastic Institute, TEXAS._

 _“_ Fuck” cursed Barb, her nails digging into her catalogue, the pages starting to rip.


	3. Looking Out for Themselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dennings are officially on the track to moving yet again, but Carol has an idea to avoid this fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K this chapter was slightly rushed so I apologize for that. I'm leaving for a trip and I realized my chances to update would be quite slim so I wanted to get something out, just in case. 
> 
> In terms of future chapters, I'm playing around with the timeline in my head and I'm wondering if anyone has a preference? Let me know if you prefer to skip to the present and then have what happened be revealed in alternating chapters (if that makes sense) or stick to the chronological chapters! As of right now, I'm happy to oblige either way xx

1982:

“This is so fucking Barb” spat Carol, pacing back and forth.

“Are you sure that’s what you heard?". 

Carol turned towards Dani, who was shivering on the cement block the local park tried to pass off as a chair, their unfinished chess game sprawled out between them. “I stayed on the line for at least 15 minutes. She’s going to fucking stay with her _fucking_ boy toy.” Her eyes flared and she kicked wildly at the recently frozen grass. _Traitor_ thought Carol bitterly, her toes beginning to throb from rapidly hitting the hard inside of her boots. “I wish she would die, or disappear from my fucking life.”

“You don’t mean that” pressed Dani, knowing Carol was no longer talking about Barb.

“But I do” snapped Carol, sitting back down on the chair across from Danielle. Carol knew objectively, usually encouraged by Danielle, that she didn’t hate Debbie. She just hated nearly every single thing that happened to her since Debbie was born, and everything that continued to happen as long as she was around. Her life and her family stopped feeling like her own a long time ago, and most days the difference between cause and effect were indistinguishable in her mind. Besides, it wasn’t like she didn’t try. On a day when she was feeling more charitable, after having to pick her up from practice, and endure several minutes of it when they went overtime, Carol pulled Debbie aside. She suggested Debbie ditch the shitty pop music, and make a statement. Do a routine to some Zeppelin, Patti Smith, fucking anything with a little kick to it, instead of standing in line with the other girls, synthesizer beating and moulding them into the same prototype. Debbie turned her pigtailed head up to Carol, scrunched her nose and said “I don’t know. Maybe I should ask Barb”. _So fuck her,_ thought Carol. She was weak. Carol was honest, and if Debbie wanted to buy into Barb’s act like everyone else, then that made her no better than the rest.

“Maybe she was just saying that. I mean, we both know she doesn’t even love him” offered Danielle, sensing it was wise to back off the topic of Debbie. The clink of Carol’s zippo filled the silence as she opened and closed it, seemingly deciding to ignore Danielle’s distaste for smoking when she finally hauled out a cigarette and lit it. Carol’s smoke, along with Danielle’s visible breath, billowed in the space between them. It was the limbo period of October where Halloween was the only thing stopping winter from unleashing its full fury. Candy canes and plastic snowmen would replace the witches and pumpkins lining the shelves of stores in just a few days.

“Oh, they’re _sooooo_ in love. You haven’t heard?” scoffed Carol, thinking of the tearful display of emotion Barb performed several days ago when their parents told them they would be moving in the new year. She wondered how long it took for her sister to throw her under the bus and decide to stay with Romeo. “She’ll stay here with her handsome boyfriend and his rich parents, continue giving blowjobs at work for more favours and presents on the side,and leave me to rot in another bullshit town”.

“Where does she think you are now?” asked Dani, eyeing the tiniest sliver of Carol’s uniform that was peeking out of her bag on the ground.

“Chess” nodded Carol at the table. A smile crossed her face, the first in what seemed like forever. It grew as she looked at the board, captured Dani’s king and smirked. “Checkmate.” Her glasses, almost too big for her, were pushed up her face by her cheeks when she laughed. She sighed and took a long drag off her cigarette. The idea of Carol in a chess club, or really any organized event, seemed hilarious at first but Dani knew she was far more intelligent than people gave her credit for and despite her emotional outbursts, she could be entirely controlling and calculating when she wanted to be. The feeling of winning was something Carol never got tired of.

“You know, you might actually have to attend one day” laughed Dani, fiddling with one of the chess pieces and running her thumb over Carol’s initials which were engraved on the bottom. She had known that Carol was upset that all her tips at the time could only muster enough to pay for a secondhand set, and in an effort to cheer her up, Dani stole them one night and brought them to her parents’ shop to polish and engrave them herself, giving the pieces new life.

“Why?” asked Carol. “Barbie wouldn’t dare be seen with anyone from the club, if she even knows of their existence, let alone talk to them so I’m free to blow it off whenever I want. I show up when I’m needed and I win. Everyone’s happy.” She stated everything very matter-of-factly and flicked her finished cigarette into the nearby bin. As she felt for another one, Dani reached out her hand and stopped her.

“I love you” she said, somewhat abruptly. It wasn’t the first time she said it, but she learned to say it sparingly, never knowing the exact reaction she’d get. The closer the Dennings leaving came to being a reality, the more it felt like a confession.

Carol didn’t pull her hand away, but she just looked at Dani, her brows wrinkling beneath her glasses in contemplation. Suddenly, she leaped off her stool and frantically lighting another cigarette, she turned to Dani. “You know, we should just fucking _leave_.”

“Leave?”

“Yeah, you and me. Fuck this place and fuck these people. Everyone else is looking out for themselves!”. Carol was practically shouting, excitement and energy coursing through her. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? Barb wanted to be an disloyal cunt? Well so could Carol.

Feeling torn, Danielle just looked up at her, taking in Carol’s wide eyes, the way the wind was blowing the ends of her flannel out around her, and how the Trans Am on her _Smokey and the Bandit_ shirt stretched and came together again as her chest rose and fell with each exhilarated breath. Before she could think of an appropriate response, Carol was standing directly in front of her, smoke floating into Dani’s face. “What? What’s wrong? You don’t want to be with me?” she pushed.  

“Of course I do. I just don’t think it’s as simple as that” said Dani, trying not to feel hurt that Carol would ever accuse her of such a thing. Carol let out a laugh, as if it was just a misunderstanding.

“You’ve got your car now” she said, propping herself up on the chess table. “Your mother has been practically begging you for your senior year to be homeschooled. You tell her that you’ve decided to agree to it early.” Her hands were moving wildly, and clouds of smoke were escaping her mouth between words. “I have my waitressing money and tips saved. It’s enough to start. We can go anywhere. Back to California! No snow for us!" She paused, as if mentioning California would seal the deal for Dani. "I'll keep you safe. You and I could be on our way” she concluded, pointing her cigarette at Dani and biting her lip as an enthusiastic smile spread across her face.

“Care…. I-I don’t know. Maybe you could stay with my family?” offered Dani softly, knowing already that the suggestion was futile.

Carol stood back up. “You’ve got to be high if you think my parents, my father, will let both Barb and I stay here. No, this is it, baby”. She looked at Danielle expectantly. With each passing second her face and demeanour changed, something desperate began to poke its head. “I mean, otherwise you’re never going to see me again” she shouted, tears threatening to sting her eyes. She spoke as if Texas wasn’t in the same country, but rather a million planets away. In a way, Dani supposed, it was.

“Okay” replied Danielle before she could think it through any more. All she knew, as she pulled Carol into her arms, was that she couldn’t fathom the idea of not seeing Carol again, but as she held her, the idea that there was still time for things to change clung to the back of her brain.


	4. Burn that Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tri-county regionals are here. The Denning sisters are another step closer to moving...and to their ultimate fates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming in clutch with a 2am upload. I have staying on brand haha. This chapter is a bit longer than the others, but that's kind of what happens when there's canon lines + scenes etc. However, I hope that any of you reading this enjoy it!  
> P.S: here is the timeline I'm working with   
> Essentially I had two options, I either had to ignore the banner at the meet OR pretend that Maniac (and Flashdance) came out in 1982 and not 1983. I decided to go with the latter. Fantasy Inmate says that Carol is 51. I'm saying that the murder took place in early 1983 and they were also caught in '83, making their total prison time 35 years so far . Being 51 this also means that Carol was 16, perhaps going on 17 depending on her birthday and that Barb was at least 17 going on 18 or turned 18 already. We don't know Barb's age for sure but they were both still in HS and she wanted to finish senior year there. I hope that makes sense!

1982: 

It was the morning of the tri-county regionals and the Denning girls were gathered around their small wooden dining table. Their father had already left for work when their mother announced that she would be unable to attend the event later. “What?!” cried Debbie, dramatically dropping her spoon into her bowl of Count Chocula that, along with a plate of frosted Pop-Tarts, made up their breakfast. There was a little over six weeks until the move which meant paycheques were being stretched, and real food and time to prepare it were becoming more and more scarce. Carol, who had always possessed an undeniable sweet tooth, found this stage to be one of the only redeemable things about moving. Mrs. Denning gave Debbie a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry, Debbie but I’m too busy with the move. We’ve just closed on the house and I have an enormous amount of paperwork to fill and send, and numbers to call.” She looked around the dining room and into the kitchen. “God, I haven’t even started packing” she added, seemingly talking to herself now. She began to fuss with her hair, tucking little pieces behind her ears as she registered her daughters’ presence again. “No matter. Your sisters will be there. Remember the rec center was double booked somehow so it’s at the high school now. They can take you.” Carol and Barb locked eyes from across the table, both equally annoyed and dreading the prospect of sitting through yet another gymnastics event. In the seconds it took the sisters to look at each other it became apparent that whoever spoke first would have the upper hand. Barb won.

“But _Mom_ , I’m supposed to be going to the Howards’ right after school today. Mrs. Howard is expecting me; I have to give her back the Christmas formal dress.” Mr. Denning had recently forbidden Barb from attending the formal, even though the Dennings would still be there. He was drunk and stressed, and insisted it was a waste of time since it was taking place a week before the move and they had better things to do. Barb, who was still secretly planning her prom, had been devastated as Mrs. Howard had given her a dress to wear that was in their family for generations and made her feel like a star in a film. She hoped one day to also have the Howard family’s irreplaceable wedding ring, which her boyfriend has pointed out to her in all their generational photos, on her finger someday too. Tears began to well in her brown eyes. “You know, today really might be the day” she sobbed. 

Barb had been milking and using the fact that she was being forced to breakup with her boyfriend to get out of doing things Mrs. Denning asked of her for weeks now. She didn’t dare do it in front of their father, and Carol thought Barb’s sobs sounded as fake as she knew them to be. Carol dissected her pop-tart, stripping the sugary frosting off and shoving it into her mouth, her eyes shooting daggers at Barb. She wanted to jump across the table, grab Barb, and yell ‘ _I know you’re lying! You fake bitch!’._

“Fine. Carol can still take you” responded Mrs. Denning, not bothering to even ask Carol.

Carol watched Debbie turn her head up to their mother, her pleading brown eyes looking eerily similar to Barb’s, as if Carol taking more of her own time to drive her ass around was the worst thing that could happen to her. “No, I can’t” said Carol, hating each second that ticked by more than the last the longer she sat with these traitorous women.

“ _Please,_ Carrie. Just do it” said her mother, looking incredibly tired. She always used Carol’s old nickname when she was desperate and wanted her to comply, the one she used to call her when she was a child and they were closer, before Debbie came along. Carol hated that it still had a weakening effect on her.

“Don’t worry, Debbie. Michael and I will show up right after we’re done with Mrs. Howard” said Barb, smiling sweetly and placing her hand over Debbie’s. The fact that she alluded to breaking up with him only minutes ago seemed forgotten now that she had gotten her way.

-

“Get the fuck out of the car, kid” said Carol to Debbie in the backseat once they arrived at the school later that day. Debbie didn’t need to be told twice, and quickly scrambled out. Despite the drop in temperature West Virginia had yet to experience a full blanketing of snow that lasted more than a day, as a result grass was still exposed but littered with chunks of ice. Carol watched Debbie skitter towards the entrance, struggling with her gym bag that seemed to be twice the size of her. She grabbed her notebook, exited the car and propped herself on the hood. She reached into her coat for her zippo – she had pocketed it at party that was marking the beginning of the school year back in autumn. The front featured a busty blonde, her outfit reminiscent of a 1950s pinup model and her leg, which moved when the lighter was opened, kicked high in the air as if doing the cancan. Carol placed a cigarette between her lips and flicked the lighter open, the woman’s leg reaching for the sky.  

Barb and her boy toy did eventually show up. Carol watched them suck face from the bleachers. _Leave it to Barbie_ _to make even her fake break up disgustingly public_ thought Carol, as if there was anyone besides anxious gymnasts and parents around to give Barb the attention she wanted. The more Carol looked at them, the more her blood seemed to progress from a slight simmer to a boil. The fact that Barb was going to leave her was enough, but making such a show pretending otherwise? It certainly fit Barb’s fantasy, but it made Carol furious. Her chest began to rise rapidly as she forced air into her lungs, thinking about walking over to them and telling them she knew they were pretending. Since Carol was currently out of jawbreakers she made due with a gumball, and although the sugary cherry flavoured coating had long been dissolved she kept it in her cheek and didn’t bite into it. It tasted bitter.

Barb pulled away from her boyfriend, who seemed to look genuinely upset. Either he was a good actor, or maybe Barb had changed her mind. Carol busied herself with her notebook as Barb walked away from him and towards her in the bleachers.

“So, how’d he take it?” asked Carol when Barb reached her and sat down.

“He was devastated, obviously” huffed Barb. “God, Carol. I can’t believe I have to leave him. He’s the one” she continued, whining and nodding her head as if performing for an audience on a soap opera. Carol, thinking of Michael’s face, was unsure if this was part of Barbara’s regular act, the show she was putting on or if a part of this breakup was now true. 

“Really, _the one_?” she questioned, sucking harder on her gumball which threatened to collapse and stop pretending to be a jawbreaker at any moment. She started to shade in some final touches on her drawing. It was Debbie hanging by her gymnastic ribbons. A fantasy. Carol thought perhaps her resentment would lessen now that she had plans to leave with Dani, but she hadn’t seen Dani in days and recently their encounters had been tense. Carol knew Dani was hesitant to leave her loving family, but she had to know that they would forgive her and even support her after a while. Her parents were pushover hippies and this had to be done. As tensions raised and Carol’s life continued to be dominated by Debbie’s needs, her resentment continued to grow in turn. The moving, the betrayal, the running away…none of it would be necessary if it weren’t for Debbie.

Barb rolled her eyes. “He’s my _soulmate._ He gets me.”

Regular Barbara bullshit or not, the act was getting to be too much for Carol, as usual. “Okay, no. He _gets_ in your pants” she countered, looking at Barb from slightly behind. “And as soon as you’re gone he’s going to get into Pearl Peterman’s pants where he’s going to shuck her oyster and suck it raw” she nodded towards Pearl, knowing that would be the girl to annoy Barb the most and then turned back to her sister, stuck her tongue out and laughed as Barb gasped, pretending to be better than her.

“What the fuck, Carol?”

“Oh, don’t be such a precious little Barbie doll. You know it’s true” argued Carol, resuming her drawing.

“You’re just pissed because no one here will even miss you” replied Barb. She rolled her eyes again, those same eyes she let fake tears fill that morning when she duped their mother. Carol thought of the phone call she overheard again, anger and hurt swelled inside her.

“Okay, you don’t know shit about my shit so don’t take it out on me.” Her voice was slightly softer, giving away a bit of her feelings. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the drawing version of Debbie, and she got up from her laid back position against the bleachers to meet Barb’s eyes. The gumball was feeling soft and tasting bitter as ever so Carol spat it out, and it smacked the guy sitting in front of them then clattered between the bleachers and onto the floor. He turned around and Barb, looking disgusted, quickly averted her eyes and pretended to be watching the performances. “It’s that fucking little cunt” said Carol from beside her, as Debbie pranced to the middle of the gymnasium and her name blasted through the speakers. Debbie’s song that she had chosen was a massive hit at the time due to a film, which was the complete opposite of the advice Carol had once given her. Debbie started her routine as it filled the room, and Carol slumped back into the bleacher behind her, practically stabbing her drawing of Debbie with her pencil in a way that felt comfortably therapeutic to her.

“Ugh, I could kill her” shuddered Barb, watching Debbie twirl and spin around the floor.

“Well, we could, you know” indulged Carol, looking at her drawing and thinking how fitting it was. “If you wanted to.”

Barb looked back at her, her too good and innocent act back on display. “Jesus, Carol.” She looked over Carol at her drawing. “Ugh, you’re such a sicko” she said, as if she didn’t just confess to wanting to kill Debbie herself. “And her boobs are not even accurate. Mostly ‘cause she doesn’t have any” she added, seemingly unable to keep up her own façade and resist critiquing Carol. She pointed at the drawing.

Carol frowned but quickly brushed it off, enjoying the feeling of the two of them having something in common. “Okay, well the body is better on this one” she said, flipping the page back to the drawing she was working on before Barb and loverboy even arrived. “Look, I even did some perspective” she smiled, tapping Barb on the arm.

“Poison?” asked Barb pragmatically, observing the pool of blood surrounding Debbie and the bottle nearby.

“Glass shards in her Yoplait” responded Carol, nodding at her brilliance. Her answer highlighted the make-believe element of her drawings.

“That’s too obvious” stated Barb plainly. She looked back at Debbie performing. “It would have to look more like an accident.” Something inside Carol clicked at those words. She felt more connected to Barb than she had in months, and the potential of being like they were when they were younger set off a storm of possibilities in her mind. Perhaps Barb did feel bad about leaving her? Maybe she also wanted things to be like before? Carol sat back up, meeting Barb’s eyes and following them to Debbie. “And you’ll have to burn that book” concluded Barb, as if she telling Carol to do something as mundane as laundry. Carol let out a small chuckle, more to herself than to Barb, and continued to look at Debbie. Maybe she wouldn’t have to leave after all.


	5. Domingo's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barb + Carol work a holiday shift at Domingo's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most I heard from said they wanted me to stay chronological so I thought I'd add another original chapter before getting into another retelling. Idk if anyone still cares about this but I do apologize to the person who messaged my blog and I told I would update by Tuesday....uni has me exhausted. If anyone does care, I'll try my best to make the time between now and the next update a lot shorter. I'm still dying to write present Carol so! I hope you enjoy + everything makes sense, I'm so tired lmao XX

** 1982: **

Domingo’s, one of three restaurants that also functioned as a bar in the town, was nothing particularly special. The usual cliental were older men and couples who frequented the establishment more out of habit than anything else, never needing to look at a menu before ordering, and people from out of the city, typically making a stop for food before heading somewhere else. The wood paneling and white walls, almost completely bare save for the odd knickknack or décor item taken from Domingo’s owners’ personal collection, something they believed would add a comforting domestic touch, weren’t exactly the kind of things that pulled people in. However, at Christmas an effort was made. Lush pine garlands decorated the doors and the outer tables, tinsel shined on the back of chairs, fairy lights looped around and across the wooden ceiling banners and the bar, and nothing but holiday hits could be heard inside.

“If I have to hear this fucking song one more time, I swear I’m going to punch something” complained Carol as the _12 Days of Christmas_ emanated from the multiple speakers above her head, starting its countdown for what seemed like the millionth time during her shift alone. She and Barbara were standing at the end of the bar, prodding at a bowl of candy cane ice-cream, Carol trying her best to stealthily take all the chocolate bits for herself. The two sisters had been getting on abnormally well lately, at least by their standards.

“The real crime is that we’re working right now. I want to be sitting at one the tables celebrating, not shelping coffee and pie” replied Barb, huffing and blowing her dark bangs, which she had brushed to the side that night, out of her face.

If it weren’t the holidays Domingo’s would be considered to be extraordinarily full, but nearly a third of a December had passed, and Christmas break was just out of reach. As a result, Domingo’s was regularly full with locals feeling the need to spend quality family time, and upper year students either celebrating the end of their exams or those who had yet to finish coming under the guise of studying over a warm meal but usually slacking off and enjoying the festivities too.

“Fuck” muttered Barb as she spotted several of her tables finishing up at once - she dropped her spoon into the dish of ice-cream and turned away. “Don’t eat all of it, Care” she said over her shoulder. Carol rolled her eyes, the ice-cream would likely be melted before she returned, the number of bodies in the building were enough to start fogging the windows, and the owners wouldn’t let the girls turn the heat down – they insisted it needed to be toasty and inviting to combat the harsh winter conditions the town finally started to experience. _Toasty as hell_ thought Carol.

Something hard smacked Carol’s back. Quickly she turned around to find the source, her ponytail whipping violently. A shimmery, fake snow encrusted acorn was on the floor by her feet.  A group of guys whose leader was Jared Coleman, a rich entitled asshole that Carol had math with, sat in a booth vertical from her. Jarod had evidently grabbed the acorn from the centrepiece that decorated their section and threw it at her. He was now calling to her, and she reluctantly grabbed her pad from the bar and headed towards them.

“Jesus, Denning. What’s a guy have to do to get some service around here?” he smiled up at her, flashing his perfectly straight teeth. His cronies laughed, giving him the approval he craved. It was clear he had a high opinion of himself, but Carol knew for a fact he was flunking math. Her high marks had often been a subject of harassment. Apparently having a brain wasn’t the in thing. Carol didn’t need a bully to tell her that – looking around her made that fact quite obvious.  

“Assault waitresses” she replied, sugary sweet. “What can I get you?” she asked them, pulling her pen from behind her ear and doing her best to pretend she wanted to take their orders. They didn’t seem to want to order though. Jarod completely ignored Carol’s comments and looked beyond her to Barb who was flitting in and out of the kitchen, still occupied with attending to her tables.

“Speaking of service, Four Eyes. Your sister is hot; you think I could get some service from her? You know, before you guys skip town again” he was still smiling. “A little goodbye gift?” he leaned back, titling his head towards the back and the washrooms while he gripped his crotch through his jeans. The boys all laughed again, and leered at Carol, waiting for her response. She grimaced and looked back at Barbara. Carol wasn’t sure if it was because they had been getting on well enough recently, or if it was due to her pure disgust of Jared, but she felt slightly defensive.

“No one wants your pencil dick, Coleman. Are you guys going to fucking order or what?” she snapped. Carol knew she shouldn’t be cursing at patrons, but she had only days left at Domingo’s which meant they owed her a cheque no matter what, and she had been stringently saving her money ever since she decided to run away – being fired now, if it came to that, would hardly make a difference. Eventually they ordered coffee and Carol made sure to accidentally pour a little bit too far to the edge of Jared’s mug, sending hot coffee cascading onto the table and flowing over onto the boys’ laps. “Oh, gosh!” exclaimed Carol in her best fantasy Barb voice, grabbing napkins for them and suppressing a large grin.

Hours later, when the sun had completely set and every light in and outside the restaurant had turned on, Carol had just shy of 30 minutes left of her shift. She emerged from the kitchen and though the heat, chatter and music ( _Jingle Bell Rock_ now the preference) seemed to still be attacking all her sense, she heard a familiar laugh over it all. She rapidly found Danielle sitting at a table with a girl and two guys that Carol didn’t recognize. They didn’t seem to see Carol, and she stood there, for what felt like forever, looking at them. Barb, who was getting off before Carol, appeared beside her with her coat on. “Fuck, it’s hot in here. Tonya is going to drive you home, Care so I’m leaving now. Mom left a message to pick Debbie up a VHS on my way and they’ll be closed if I wait for you.” Carol didn’t respond. She was still looking at Dani, who had briefly touched the hand of the other girl at her table. Was it romantic? She couldn’t tell but jealously bubbled in the pit of her stomach nonetheless. “Carol. Hello?!” Barb snapped her fingers in front of Carol’s face. “I’m leaving” she said again. 

“Okay” said Carol. Barb frowned and rolled her eyes, she didn’t have time to deal with whatever weird shit was going on. Before she could entirely walk away, Carol grabbed her arm. “Hey, do you know who they are?” she asked, nodding towards Danielle’s table.

“Uh, the hippie chick has a sister that-”

“NOT her” interrupted Carol, colour rising slightly in her cheeks.

“Then no” said Barb, pulling her arm from Carol and turning to exit the building.

Carol glanced at her watch. She had less than twenty minutes left. She scanned the restaurant and noticing that all her fellow workers were preoccupied decided to risk a cigarette break, hoping that it would waste the rest of her time. Carol kept her cigarettes inside the pocket in her uniform that was meant to store her notepad so already having her supplies, she decided against risking to get her jacket, and hurried to leave before she noticed by anyone.

She rounded the building once outside, spotting their car with Barb inside in the opposite direction, but if Barb noticed her she didn’t say anything. With shaking hands, Carol grabbed her pack and brought a cigarette to her mouth. The drop in temperature from inside the restaurant and outside was drastic – Carol’s glasses fogged with each breath, the hairs on her arms stood up and her fingers stung slightly holding her metal lighter. After her second smoke she heard someone coming and hastily tried to decide if her actions were even worth defending, but it was Danielle that emerged. Suddenly Carol realized that she was actually two feet away from Danielle’s car. She couldn’t tell if she gravitated towards it unconsciously or not. It was snowing slightly now, and the lamppost nearby acted as a spotlight on Danielle, the golden light covered her and she looked as though she was glowing from within. She stood smiling at Carol, a beret sat on top of her feathered hair and it became evident to Carol how underdressed for the weather she was in just her uniform as she took her in. Danielle’s brown knee high boots were just visible under her long tartan coat, a solid green scarf was wrapped around her neck and she was carrying a bag of sorts on one of her arms. She seemed quite warm, and Carol, still nurturing her jealousy, tried to hide her shivering out of spite. Danielle spoke first.

“Hey. You know, it is _so_ hard to get served in there tonight. I wonder why” she smirked at Carol.

“Hey” Carol said back, leaning against the building and turning her head back away from Danielle. “You stalking me now?” she asked without looking at her.

“Maybe” teased Danielle. “I didn’t know you were working tonight” she added after Carol didn’t smile.

“Who are you with?” Carol hated herself for asking but she couldn’t resist. The question came out slightly more demanding than she intended.

“You jealous?” asked Danielle, still attempting to get a smile out of Carol as she walked closer to her.

“No” lied Carol, her mouth was tight and she flicked her newly lit cigarette, trying hard to force herself not to look at Danielle.

“They’re my cousins. They’re visiting for the holidays.” There was no hint of amusement or teasing in her voice, and Carol couldn’t help but finally look at her again. Looking into Danielle’s eyes, Carol felt dumb for thinking so far into nothing. A wave of vulnerability washed over her –anything good never seemed to last and she felt this small piece of happiness she found for herself since they moved was slipping between her fingers. It didn’t matter if her parents dragged her away to another state again or if she stayed or ran away, she would fuck anything up eventually. “Oh honey, you’re shaking like a leaf” said Danielle. Deep in thought, Carol had seemingly forgotten to keep up her invincible act.

Stepping quite close to Carol, Danielle removed her scarf and wrapped it around Carol’s neck. Her sweet smell seemed to envelop Carol and she could feel tears coming to her eyes. Danielle, for her part, didn’t acknowledge the tears directly and she loved her even more for it. Danielle leaned towards Carol, who was still propped against the building, and kissed her. In Carol’s attempts not to look at Danielle, she hadn’t noticed that Dani had been sucking on a candy. The kiss was deep, and minty cool air filled Carol’s head between breaths.She dropped her cigarette and wrapped her arms around Danielle’s small waist, pulling her as close as possible, desperate to feel as much of her and her heat as possible. Carol’s glasses were so clouded she could no longer see out of them when they finally broke apart a bit and she let out a laugh as Danielle pushed her glasses up onto her head. When she regained vision, she saw that Danielle was smiling at her. She stuck her tongue out at Carol, the small remnant of a miniature candy cane she had been sucking on was visible and her tongue was a deep red colour. She joined Carol in her laughter, and then pulled Carol’s hair out of its ponytail and positioned it nicely around her shoulders in attempt to give her some more warmth as she stepped back.

“Merry Christmas!” said Danielle, presenting the bag she had on her arm to Carol. It was slightly flattened from being pressed between their bodies when they kissed. Carol had hardly registered it, having being too elated by the taste and touch of Danielle.

“I thought you said you didn’t know I was working tonight?” Carol raised her eyebrows.

“I said I didn’t know, not that I hadn’t hoped” replied Danielle innocently. She kissed Carol several times on the cheek and thrust the bag into her hands.

“You’re bad” chuckled Carol, beginning to open her gift. The cold, her dark feelings and the fact that she was still at work forgotten.


End file.
